Learning to Be Patient When I Absolutely Hate It

Something I personally struggle with is being patient. It’s not an entitlement flaw, or being a millennial, but it’s the fact that my personality is so high strung, and I can never sit still. I love results. I want to work and make things happen. I like to see my hard work produce results. It’s very hard for me to be patient to wait for something to happen. I don’t even like cooking because it takes too long. I’d rather go get fast food or eat chips because it’s food that’s done.

Lately, I’ve been feeling stuck as a result of not being able to have patience. I’ve been going to school for a long time, and only attend part time because my schedule is so busy. I’ve been in my position at work for almost two years, and I’m ready to grow, but I’m not quite experienced enough yet to take on the position I want. I started writing blog posts back in October 2017, and I get frustrated when I don’t see growth or opportunities I want yet. My goal is to have my own line of graphic tees, but I haven’t been able to start my business yet.

This impatience has led to depression, frustration, and anger. Frustrated because I want my degree, I want to get promoted, and I want to see my blog and side business grow. I became so obsessed with the end result and goal, that I’ve shut down a lot this year. Then a friend told me about Gary Vaynerchuk, and after listening to his podcast I realized I had some self-accountability to do.

Some things Gary says so much to get the point driven is to have patience, work hard, and love the process. Instead of going to school because I wanted to learn, I’ve been going to just get a degree. I’m in Fashion Marketing and Management. I get to take classes for something I absolutely love. I should be absorbing information. I’m lucky to have the opportunity to learn and grow and do it part time. I lost my gratitude and passion for learning.

With work, I am super ambitious and tenacious. I have been blessed with the opportunity to do exactly what I’ve always wanted to do in retail. I love retail, sales, and product development. Being in retail buying has been a great fit for me. But I let the situations I can’t control fill me with negativity, and it took away my joy for what I do. I’m so focused on the fact I’m not a buyer yet make me depressed. It’s only been 3 years since I made the jump from store operations to buying. After self-evaluating, I realized I’m on the right track, but there is a lot I have to learn. Plus, it’s only been 3 years. I still need time to learn and grow, and when I’m ready the universe will open the right position for me.

For my blog, I’ve literally only been doing this for a short time. I’m still finding my voice and creating my niche. I’ve met so many people, and have had so many great relationships started, I have to be grateful instead of worrying. Once I get my niche and voice set, the right opportunities will happen. I know my graphic tee business will get done eventually, but there’s still a lot of work I need to do.

It’s insane how I’ve set unrealistic expectations for myself. Why do we do that? Why are we working so hard to make things happen so fast? I realized I forgot to love the process. I forgot to take each day as a learning opportunity and to do what I love.

So going back to patience, I’ve had such a break though. I’m not out of the woods yet, but I felt such a burden lifted when I started changing my mind set. I should focus on loving what I do and making sure it fits the bigger purpose for my life. I can’t fast forward to the end goals. That means it’s the end. I have to find and keep the joy of doing what I love day in and day out. I have to change my thinking from being impatient and wanting big results fast, to my goal each day is to learn, grow, and be passionate about what I love. If I love retail, then I should be learning everything I can now so in 5 years, when I have my degree, I have the network I want, and the job I want, I’m ready. I have to love the process or I’m always going to be impatient, which is what creates depression, frustration, and unresolved anger.

I really felt compelled to share what I’ve learned. I know we all let ourselves get so overwhelmed with expectations, that it creates anxiety, stress, and depression. We all have our own paths, and we have to find the joy in what we do every day. The right things will happen if we work hard and find joy in every day. The right opportunities will present themselves because we are ready for it.

I know this is a long post, but I hope that if you are going through either a similar lesson or struggle, that you know you are not alone. That’s why community is so important. It’s for us to lean on each other when we need strength, and for honest insight to help us grow.

2 thoughts on “Learning to Be Patient When I Absolutely Hate It

  1. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing! It’s so relatable for me. I am so used to what high stress feels like, that to me, it’s normal. I feel lazy when I’m not busy and I pile more and more and more, until I end up having a physical reaction (panic attack, anxiety, depression), that I spiral. So I completely relate on all levels.

    I’m still learning; learning how to say no, how to balance, and definitely how to be patient.

    I’m grateful to be on this journey of entrepreneurship with you!

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